Prince of Peace

 From my devotions, June 14, 2026 - 

“Jesus allows Himself to be bound so that others may be set free.” - Joni and Friends Devotional - I Am 

Creed by Rich Mullins - CHORUS: 

And I believe what I believe 

Is what makes me what I am 

I did not make it, no it is making me 

It is the very truth of God and not 

The invention of any man 

Here’s the music video I shared on Facebook 4 days ago - Creed by Rich Mullins  https://youtu.be/9LR2hFP1yb4?is=63_y2yas2ThMbqli

I’m so glad I reconnected with Rich Mullins song’ “Creed” originally released in August 1993. I stumbled across it on YouTube and shared it on Facebook when a friend asked me if I watched the “Ragamuffin” movie about Rich Mullins life. At the time I didn’t but immediately looked for it and watched it. It really encouraged me to open up. I’ve been searching the scriptures in desperate need to heal my broken heart. The “Ragamuffin” movie is a really good movie, if you haven’t watched it, I encourage you to watch it too. Christian Music Artist, Rich Mullins, struggled with his faith before his death in a car accident on September 19, 1997. I can relate to his struggle with his faith because I am struggling too. 

Sometimes the grief paralyzes me ever since we lost our daughter in a terrible car accident. And I can’t seem to get motivated to do anything except take care of our animals and our “twins” and on a good day make dinner.

It’s like waiting to see her again is taking so long. She wasn’t supposed to leave. She was my big motivator. She kept me going because she would call or text to check on me pretty much everyday. I never met anyone like her who not only did that for me but she seemed to be engaged in not just our family life but often made herself available for her friends and extended family as well. She left a big void and my world was crushed when she crashed. 

I have longed for heaven since I was a child. People get uncomfortable when I admit I can’t wait to get to heaven. Even before Michelle passed away I wanted to go there. It’s like I can’t get satisfied with the things of earth. It’s like a part of me is already there and it intensified when Michelle left. Maybe because I understand nothing can satisfy my emptiness like Jesus. It’s hard work sometimes to do all the right things when you don’t feel like it. Sometimes all I want to do is sit and wait for Jesus to come. Until He does I will go to bed early so I can wake up early and have my coffee alone with Jesus. To God be the glory, who made us and is making us for that day. 

Psalms 130:5-6 NKJV

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord More than those who watch for the morning— Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.

I know waiting is a part of life.

I know where I’ll be when God calls me home.

Psalms 17:15 NKJV

As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.

I pray God teaches me to let each day come and learn to be thankful for each day I get to wake up until my last day on earth when my eyes will be fully open. What a day that will be! While I wait for that day, I pray God gives me strength to do the will of the Father. To rise up and be fully who God made me to be. To believe that God loves me and I don’t have to pretend everything is okay. I’m sure I hide my sadness because I want to make people happy and help them if I can. Yet, not my will, God’s will be done. Thank You Jesus for the cross. Thank you that you died for me. It was there on the cross that you took my sin upon yourself. I am washed in the blood. O Lamb of God. Thank you! 

Hebrews 13:20-21 NKJV

Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

This world is passing away and we can’t stop it. Praise God, heaven came to save us.

John 3:16 NKJV

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 12:32 NKJV

And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself.

John 14:6 NKJV

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

Matthew 6:9-13 NKJV

In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

More ramblings of my soul as I ponder my existence and why I’m still here. Bear with me as I share my heart. 

Maybe I’m missing something. I know I have faith. I know God gave it to me to save me from my sins. I know I will be with Him one day. Maybe when I woke up the other day as I was walking out of my bedroom to have my quiet time I heard, “if you don’t need your faith” wasn’t because I don’t. Then heard, “then give it to someone else” was because at the time I didn’t know I needed to share my faith and by doing so it would help me. And maybe by writing this it will help you too. I don’t know who else reading this is hurting too. I hope we can learn together it’s okay to not be okay. We don’t have to hide our sadness. Sharing it heals us and holding it in makes us miserable. God said in His word to bear one another’s burdens. 

Galatians 6:2 NKJV

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

We can’t do that unless we are being honest with ourselves and honest with each other. I thank everyone who reached out to me since my last blog. Thank you for walking along side me giving me opportunity to share and also sharing your stories. I’m not the only one who has lost a child or someone close to them. I’m so sad for everyone who understands this. I pray for “King of my glory” and yours, to heal our broken hearts and be our “Prince of Peace”. 

Sincerely, 

Your friend in Christ,

Debbie  

Ephesians 3:13-21 NKJV

Therefore I ask that you do not lose heart at my tribulations for you, which is your glory. For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Hold Me Jesus

I dare you to trust that I love you just as you are. Not as you should be. - Ragamuffin 

If you don’t need your faith, give it to someone who does. - what I heard when I woke up this morning. It didn’t click until I watched the movie and life of Rich Mullins in the Ragamuffin movie. I still don’t know what to do with what I heard but I want to believe God loves me just as I am. Not as I should be. Thank you Jesus. Help me to believe that. I don’t know where to go or what to do with my life right now. I am a broken mess pretending to be okay and if I’m honest I’m not okay. Help me to give all of me to You and trust that You love me just as I am. I come to You. Lead me to Your living arms. (typo, meant loving but I like living arms too) I just want to feel them wrapped around me. I can’t live (or love) without You. Amen. 

With Love, 

Your daughter, 

Ragamuffin Deborah (Debbie, Deb)

Hold Me Jesus - Rich Mullins 

 https://youtu.be/8gBGGX3yvMo?is=scbMwGlDous6xDVR

Make Room For The New

Leviticus 26:10 New King James Version (NKJV)

10 You shall eat the old harvest, and clear out the old because of the new.

Michelle & Myah - March 8, 2014 

Everyday without you is hard because I miss talking to you. I just want to stop and stare at you. You loved babies that’s true. And seeing you hold Myah and look into her eyes as a mother would do was who you are. You loved people the same way. There was nothing like telling you something and getting your full attention because you listened with the heart. Your eyes were your heart. I miss looking into them and telling you things that you cared about because you cared what I had to say and loved me with your eyes. Your words were from the heart. Sometimes they cut like knives because I needed to hear the truth but never meanly. You were oh so kind. The truth coming from you was always so meaningful. You told me what you thought but never told me what to do. I miss that. I miss telling you things and you would listen. You didn’t always have something to say but you always listened. You wanted to know how I was doing. I miss your random phone calls and texts and you planning the next get together and telling me when we’d see each other again. I really miss you planning things. I miss you being here. I miss you. But you were my baby. Our first child God gave us on this earth. Everything about you was so cool. I loved being your mommy and seeing life through your eyes was an adventure. You were smart. Daddy taught you things like how to say Czechoslovakia and you could say it! You could work on multiple wooden puzzles dumped out on the floor at one time and put them back together again in no time flat! You learned fast and continued to absorb life in the same way. You were a big helper. All your life. Only I had no idea. I mean, I knew you loved your family. You helped us a lot. But you helped everybody! If only you knew. I suppose you do because you’re with Jesus now and now you know everything. But when down here on earth, you were the smartest person I know. But if you only knew how many people loved you. I mean at your home going celebration so many people showed up that there was standing room only because there wasn’t a seat not taken to honor you and your life. I’ll never forget that day. And now I wait for the day I’ll see you again. Selfishly I want to be the first person to hug you on the other side and hold you in my arms. At least I want you to be the first person I see besides my daddy and Jesus. Oh I know it will be crowded with loved ones like my brother and cousins and grandparents and uncles and aunts. But there’s nothing like losing a child and wanting to see them again. 

Last Sunday at church we were visiting Elevation for the first time to watch Gavin be dedicated. Steven Furtick said, “Sometimes we think we lost something when God really only moved it.” I couldn’t help but think that’s you. You moved to heaven. I know that. I can trust that. I know I’ll see you there. But I miss you now. I can’t stop missing you. I know you’re helping Jesus get things ready. Because you loved to help and organize things. You are where your soul belongs. And one day. 

One day.

I’ll be there with you. 

I suppose the new is here. But the new will also be there. I’m trying to find the balance of letting go of yesterday to welcome the new. You will not come to me no longer. I will go to you. I’ll see you in heaven “one day” baby girl. I’m holding onto the promise of no longer missing you. When one day comes. I’ll be where my soul belongs too. I’ll be with you. I’ll be with Jesus. 

I’ll end this jabber with your nephew’s Baby Dedication, Gavin Ezra Miller. He misses you too! I know he would have been in your arms just like Myah was. 

With love, 

Mommy 

I’m pretty sure Gavin’s big brother Gideon was looking up at you. :) 

Gavin Ezra Miller - March 8, 2020 

She said

“She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”” - John 11:27

Martha's brother died. Jesus was late (so she thought). . 

  

For some reason I started to write this blog and never finished it. I titled it, “She said”, because I wanted my words to be like Martha's. I took a picture of Martha’s words in my Bible on August 24, 2017. My brother left this earth a mere 6 days later on August 30, 2017. It wasn’t until after his death that I came back to this and noticed Jesus' words to Martha... “Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”” -  John 11:23

 ... I am comforted. ❤️✝️🙏🏻🙌🏻 I love you my brother.

Celebrating my brother’s last birthday on this earth at the age of 56. Joe was a fun guy who liked to make people laugh. He called himself, “Joe kid” and often said, “Joe kidding” when you were trying to tell him something serious. He was the life of the party wherever he went! 

Joseph Harold Ezekiel - June 6, 1961 - August 30, 2017

I will see you in the city, Joe! 

Hebrews 11:13-16 New King James Version (NKJV)

The Heavenly Hope

13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off [a]were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. 14 For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. 15 And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them. 

Awareness Angels 💙💛

Judy’s Angels! 😇

For Down syndrome awareness month I’d like you to meet Judy Adams. Judy just celebrated her 20th birthday yesterday! She is an inspiring individual born with Down syndrome using her talents to help others by making awareness angels. I know this is Down syndrome awareness month but Judy doesn’t think of herself, she thinks of you. Do you need an Angel? Judy has one for you. Come check out her page. https://www.facebook.com/Awareness-Angels-234281813810056/ Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Month! 💙💛

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY JUDY!!!!!
😍🙏🏻😘💜🤗🎂💖🎉

The Farm 💙💛

“A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 NKJV 

OK y’all! Here’s a little catch up! But first I want to tell you I made a mistake on my blog post yesterday. I went back and checked the dates for chasing Little Hannah and realized they were wrong and corrected them. 

Here’s an update! As I shared on my blog yesterday, I have a friend named Kim who has been telling me about this dream of a farm she has for people with Down syndrome. And I’m starting to SEE the vision! Already Kim has been sharing ideas for fundraisers and lots of potential farms for sale. ;) Since we began talking about it Kim put in for a weekend off to come down and see us on November 10th and 11th to discuss everything! Her daughter Judy has been working hard to make angels for a fundraiser and hopefully when Judy comes down with her mom she can teach Hannah and Lera how to make them.... 

Here’s how God has been making me smile and my conversation with Kim today.... 

Me: “Guess what? This may seem strange but God made me smile last night when I was doing dishes I happened to look at the animals on the shelf that were put up so Lera wouldn’t chew on them that we got from the fair. But I really saw how they symbolize “the farm”. Then again this morning I noticed the screws nuts and bolts that Jim brought home and sat there for a repair job on our ping pong table that have been sitting there for a while lol. But the picture in the middle and how all got sat up there without me even realizing you had a dream before they got placed. And how God is impressing me so sweetly that He’s already there! Here’s the picture of my window sill above the sink where I do dishes everyday. Wow! God is so so good! He’s amazing to delight us in such profound ways with His presence.”

.......“It’s like the farm with all the animals and the assembly line that Matthew enjoys all together!”  ....... “Don’t worry about tomorrow God is already there!”

Kim: “That is so awesome!  AND here is a picture of a project that Judy did over the weekend......it was about people in the 1800's.....she had to set up a feudal and mid evil times!  Judy did the research and laid out the community as she read it.....mind you take a good look at it!  It is exactly, what we are looking to do minus the castle! 

🙂

But like you....there were lots of animals 🙂”

.......“It is uncanny......how your window sill and Judy's project...revolve around a farm!”.......“God is speaking 🙂” ....... “And as you see there is even a church! 🙂”

Me: “Wow! That speaks volumes! Not only did Judy do an outstanding job, it is my 

story! ...not that long ago I wrote in my journal that I traded my castle for a mansion. Because I was telling my testimony on how ever since I was a little girl I wanted to get married and live in one and have lots of children lol! But now that I’m older I set my mind on things above. This world is not my home. I’m just passing through. Heaven has a mansion waiting for me! But then you came along and shared your dream for a farm. And I was just thinking how God was saying, hold on, I’m not finished with you yet. You have a lot more living to do! It’s like He was say what about the farm? And I was saying, yes Lord, I’ll trade my castle in for a farm! Wow. Wow. Wow. Is all I got to say! God is working! I can feel it and see I’m starting to see the vision. 😃”

To be continued...💙💛

Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Month! 💙💛

“The One who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24 ESV 

First, I want to thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all. (Romans 1:8) 

Kim; founder of Gifts From The Heart For Downs- thank you for your message of hope and sharing the dream God gave you for our children and your invitation to journey with you towards “helping others and animals”. I look forward to your dream unfolding before us and the hope in store as we listen to the One who made us and calls us. Surely He will do it! 

Rachel; founder of Ink & Parchment- thank you for encouraging me to write my story. At times I wonder if I even have one. So maybe this is it? It’s about a farm. 

A farm for people with Down syndrome...

Sep 20, 6:12 PM From Kim: 

“Hi Debbie!

How are you....I have been thinking of you a lot as I have wanted to drive on down to visit.  In the mean time I also have a question that I would like to ask......

Is there a time that you and I can talk!

I honestly haven't forgotten about you all.  Think of you a lot!

Sending much love to you all,

Kim”

SEP 20, 6:50 PM From Debbie: 

“Hi Kim! That makes me happy! Would love to see you again! I was at my daughters volleyball game but Im usually home. Just give me a call when you get a chance. Love you all too!”

It was on September 20, 2018 when Kim contacted me through FB messenger. She later called me that same evening to fill me in on her dream. Kim and I first met through Facebook in 2010 by the common bond of our children born with DS. Kim adopted her two children Matthew and Judy. We had Hannah born into our family and adopted Valeria. We both met at a Ruck March in Washington DC on October 2, 2011 to bring awareness to DS hosted by Tischer’s Troops and have have kept in touch ever since. She was there cheering our family on when we were called to adopt another angel named “little Hannah” that hit a brick wall. We were chasing after her hard through the Foster care process in Baltimore county in hopes of adopting her late 2014 which sadly ended early 2017 when Little Hannah was pronounced not adoptable by the courts and ordered to remain in Foster care with the family who has been taking care of her from the time her birth family was disrupted. Although Little Hannah was not placed in our family, she remains in our hearts.

October 2, 2011

So here we are and as I type this I realized that today is the second day of October. October is DS Awareness month! Also today is exactly 7 years since the day we met Kim and her family on the Ruck March in DC for Down syndrome awareness with Tischer’s troops. Tischer’s Troops was started in 2010 and run by the Tischer’s who have a son also named Matthew also born with DS. So much fun!! 

Yesterday was the first day of October and the first day for DS awareness month! Photo below is of Valeria (Lera) and Hannah that I shared on social media. They had just visited the doctors and they were given these balloons. How cool they matched the colors for DS! So much cuteness!! 

October 1, 2018 

To be continued... 💙💛